Every Batman movie, ranked from worst to best

• There are a lot of Batman movies.
• The Christopher Nolan movies all rank pretty high among them, and the most recent ones from Zack Snyder? Not so much. 

When people argue about which version of Batman is best, the debate usually boils down to a preference between Adam West’s fun-loving TV version; Tim Burton’s nervy, bizarro treatment; and Christopher Nolan’s elegantly somber reboot. (Folks who try to bring up Joel Schumacher’s abominations are politely shown the door.)

But now, of course, we have to make room for the newest Batman, the one played by Ben Affleck. His first stab at the role resulted in last year’s Batman v Superman, a film that made a ridiculous amount of money and most everyone hated. He’s donned the mask yet again for this Friday’s Justice League, which finds the Caped Crusader joining forces with Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg, and the Flash. Justice League will also probably be a massive hit, but is it any better than Batman v Superman?

We decided to weigh the film against the other Batflicks that have come our way over the last 50 years — including Adam West’s Batman movie and other recent features like Batman: The Killing Joke, The Lego Batman Movie, and (dear god in heaven) Batman v Superman.

First, some quick bits of housekeeping. For this list, we decided to forgo the 1940s Batman serials. Also, direct-to-video Batman animated movies didn’t count. And, finally, we dispensed with any films in which Gotham’s champion is merely a supporting character — so that disqualifies The Lego Movie and Suicide Squad. What we’re left with is 13 bona fide Batman movies — six of which we think are at least pretty darn great, and two more that we’d happily rewatch right now. This list was compiled by two people who think Batman is the best of all superheroes. We’re grateful that (for the most part) he’s been represented so well at the multiplex.

SEE ALSO: 'Justice League' is agonizing to watch — and Zack Snyder is to blame

13. "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" (2016)

Sheesh, where to start? How about the fact that Batman — whose whole existence is based on not killing people — just mows people down with Batmobile machine guns and bombs like it’s nothing? Or the glum tone of relentless, thudding dipshittery? Or Jesse Eisenberg’s manic, what-in-the-world-is-he-doing Lex Luthor? Or the Martha thing? (Yeah, it’s probably the Martha thing.) It’s not Ben Affleck’s fault that this movie is so terrible and deadening, but his morose, glowering, joyless Batman has to serve as its public face regardless. This is worse than the worst of the Joel Schumacher movies because, at their worst, those were just dumb and cheesy. This is an all-out assault on the senses and the soul: It makes you feel bad for liking Batman, or movies, at all.

12. "Batman & Robin" (1997)

Give Joel Schumacher this: When he makes a calamity, he goes all the way. The costume designer turned filmmaker has often been at his best at his boldest: Think of the feverish angry-white-guy character study Falling Down or his relentlessly stripped-down war drama Tigerland. But for his second Batman film, Schumacher’s worst impulses took over. Yes, Batman & Robin really is as terrible as you’ve been told: a witless, hyperactive, childish cavalcade of terrible action sequences, campy performances, and unfunny lines. Worse, it’s all delivered with a petty impertinence, as if cast and crew want you to know how little they think of the material. Because Arnold Schwarzenegger was, deservedly, lambasted for his wooden portrayal as the pun-spouting Mr. Freeze, history has forgotten how equally disastrous Uma Thurman is as the awkwardly slinky Poison Ivy. When Batman & Robin opened in the summer of 1997, L.A. Weekly’s Ella Taylor observed, “There’s so much happening in the movie that it feels like nothing is happening at all.” Honestly, nothing happening at all is preferable to sitting through this monstrosity.

11. "Justice League" (2017)

The best you can say about Justice League is that, well, at least it’s not as terrible as Batman v Superman, which introduced Ben Affleck as the latest incarnation of the Dark Knight. Batman is front and center in Justice League— which, like Batman v Superman, was directed by Zack Snyder (with an assist from Joss Whedon) — but Affleck’s uninspired portrayal of the iconic character is at least mitigated by the presence of Bruce Wayne’s super friends, most notably Gal Gadot’s righteous, compelling Wonder Woman. Affleck can be an affecting actor — ironically, he was really good in Hollywoodland, where he played George Reeves, the man who played Superman in the 1950s — but he seems completely thrown by Bruce Wayne’s haunted, melancholy essence. His Batman isn’t a figure of profound darkness — he’s just a mope, sucking any semblance of joy out of this unwieldy would-be epic. Batman may be the leader of this ragtag group of heroes, but Affleck lacks the charisma to make you believe anybody would follow him anywhere.